Many people are struggling with getting their finances in order. Sometimes psychotherapy can be helpful in understanding how current feelings or family history affect your ability to live within your means or to plan securely for the future. In addition to therapy, an organization that can be helpful in managing the practicalities of dealing with debt is the National Foundation for Credit Counseling which provides referrals for free or low cost help with credit counseling.
DEPRESSION
As Andrew Solomon notes in his book, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression, "It is frighteningly easy to accumulate material about depression." Given that chronic depression affects some 19 million Americans and another 2.3 million struggle with manic-depression, this statement isn't surprising. Solomon's book is a touching memoir of his own struggles with depression as well as a comprehensive review of the biological, psychological, and sociological aspects of the illness. For anyone who is touched by this "demon" --- either personally or through a family member or friend --- I strongly recommend this book.
NEUROSCIENCE AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Many people intuitively feel the benefits of psychotherapy. Talking with a therapist can decrease painful feelings as well as help in finding better ways to connect with others. Susan Vaughan's book, The Talking Cure, explains the neuroscience of talk therapy and how working with a therapist actually alters our brain functioning. It's a valuable resource in learning about the science behind psychotherapy.
PSYCHOTHERAPY
“Ineffably, psychotherapy heals. It makes some sense of the confusion, reins in the terrifying thoughts and feelings, returns some control and hope and possibility of learning from it all…psychotherapy is a sanctuary. Psychotherapy is a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief. But, always, it is where I have believed—-or have learned to believe—-that I might someday be able to contend with all of this.” I was deeply moved by Kay Redfield Jamison’s beautiful description of her experience in therapy in her latest book, Fires in the Dark.
DISSOCIATION
For therapists who want to deepen their ability to work with dissociation, and for anyone who wants a better grasp of their own experiences of "not being there", I highly recommend The Dissociative Mind in Psychoanalysis. Edited by Elizabeth Howell and Sheldon Itzkowitz, this thoughtful book has articles ranging from historical perspectives, to clinical implications, to current research on dissociation and dissociative disorders. I found this book very enlightening.
THE SEXUAL ABUSE OF BOYS AND RECOVERY
Sadly, approximately one in four boys faces some form of sexual abuse. Psychotherapy can help with recovery from such experiences. I've worked extensively with abuse survivors and have shared in their struggles to feel in control of their bodies, manage painful memories, and enter relationships as equal players. I've been struck time and again by the resiliency of survivors --- how so many carry on with their lives to find meaning and success. I'd like to mention MaleSurvivor, a wonderful organization that helps many in their healing process. I've been affiliated with the group as a Board member, an Advisory Board member, and as Chair of their international conference. I've seen first hand how effective MaleSurvivor is through its weekend retreats, interactive web site, and its international conferences which brings together survivors, their families, and professionals who work with survivors. I encourage you to look at MaleSurvivor's web site.
INTER-GENERATIONAL TRAUMA
Inter-generational trauma affects many people. Whether it results from the distant family trauma of slavery, or the more recent trauma of having suffered childhood abuse, or of a parent needing to flee his or her country of origin --- the impact on the next or subsequent generations can be profound. Helen Fremont movingly writes about her experience as the child of Holocaust survivors in her memoir The Escape Artist. She describes how the silence and mystery of her parents' experiences profoundly affected her and her sister. I recommend it highly.
TRAUMA STUDIES
I've spent much of my career working with survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Advanced training in this area is particularly helpful, so I want to share with you information about this fall's schedule at Manhattan Institute for Psychoanalysis' Certificate Program in Trauma Studies. I highly recommend MIP’s trauma program. I serve on the training committee and teach one of the modules. If you are interested in training in this area, I encourage you to review the program's offerings which will also direct you to the link if you want to attend the program’s upcoming virtual open house on April 14th from 4:00-5:30.
CRYSTAL METH AND RECOVERY
I’ve recently been fortunate to have a book recommended to me: Lust, Men, and Meth: A Gay Man’s Guide to Sex and Recovery, by David Fawcett, Ph.D. If you are struggling with crystal meth, are a therapist working with a patient who has a meth addiction, or want to understand a friend or family member who is in the grips of this addiction — then this book is essential reading. Fawcett explores the methamphetamine crisis from both a psychological and sociological perspective. He has a deep understanding of the causes of this addiction, the pain it creates, and the steps towards recovery. I couldn’t recommend a book more highly.
HEALING MY LIFE FROM INCEST TO JOY
Healing My Life from Incest to Joy is a very compelling book written by Donna Jenson. She chronicles her growing up in a family in which she was violently abused. Donna’s primary focus, however, is on her experience in healing and finding joy in life. She writes of her journey in creating a healthy and long lasting love life, finding meaning through writing and performing, and building a family of choice. I loved the book and think you will too. You can learn more about her work through www.timetotell.org.
THERAPISTS' MISTAKES
For many people who are in therapy, it can be good to know that therapists also make mistakes. Sounds obvious, but it isn’t something that everyone considers. Irwin Hirsch has written a terrific book on this, Coasting in the Countertransference. He explores how sometimes therapists avoid anxiety-ridden topics, rather than deal with the discomfort that can arise in pursuing particular issues. It’s a helpful reminder that therapy requires a certain courage from patients, as well as their therapists.
SANDOR FERENCZI
Mention psychoanalysis, and most people of course think of Sigmund Freud. Lost in history is Freud's colleague Sandor Ferenczi, who dramatically expanded on what psychoanalysis could offer. He did this by exploring how the therapist's relationship with the patient could play a dynamic role in helping patients connect more deeply with their feelings, histories, and relational styles. Ferenczi was also at the forefront of understanding the impact of sexual trauma. Most radically, he experimented with alternating therapy sessions in which the therapist and patient took turns in the "patient" role. The Legacy of Sandor Ferenczi, by Lewis Aron and Adrienne Harris, brings his ideas alive and helps us expand our perceptions of what is possible in psychotherapy today.
A MIND SPREAD OUT ON THE GROUND
I am currently reading a very thought-provoking book, A Mind Spread Out on the Ground, by Alicia Elliott. She writes of the intersections between intergenerational trauma, oppression, and her unique experiences as an indigenous woman. This is a compelling memoir and very informative, and particularly valuable for therapists who are looking to expand their understanding of how the history of race and discrimination can continue to live in subsequent generations. I highly recommend this book.
COMING OUT AS LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL OR TRANSGENDER
Revealing the deepest parts of ourselves to others can feel like a great risk. Certainly this can be the case in coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Over the years I've worked with many people who've struggled to share this part of themselves with family members, friends or co-workers. And while coming out to others doesn't always go smoothly or as hoped, I have never worked with anyone who's regretted it. Websites, libraries and bookstores are brimming with information about coming out, and the LGBT Center offers a wide range of social and support opportunities for people --- whether they have been out for years or are just coming out.
THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE
Bessel van der Kolk is a hero and leader in helping to bring the study of trauma into public awareness. In his fascinating book, The Body Keeps the Score, he tells of his own journey in learning, through his patients, about trauma and it's consequences. He writes about the impact trauma has on the body and psyche, and offers hope in outlining effective treatments. Whether you're a therapist who works with traumatized patients, someone who's experienced trauma, or know someone who's survived trauma (I think that includes all of us), I highly recommend this book.
SURVIVING A SUICIDE
The numbers are shocking and sad: some 200,000 people in the United States annually lose a loved one to suicide (according to the AAS). I have worked with a number of people who have been affected by suicide. They often come in with conflicting feelings: mourning, grief, rage and guilt. Therapy can be a lifeline for people who survive the suicide of a loved one. Some helpful resources include The Samaritans of New York (212-673-3000) which offers free of charge support groups for survivors of suicide and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline which you can call or text at 988.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Partner violence, unfortunately, threads through society. Our U.S. Congress now has a champion in addressing this issue —- Representative Cori Bush, who has a personal history with domestic violence. If you or someone you know is struggling with domestic violence, I highly recommend Safe Horizon as an entry point to get help.
JUDITH HERMAN
Judith Herman’s pathbreaking 1992 Trauma and Recovery changed the way and expanded how we think about trauma. This landmark book was instrumental in guiding psychotherapists to better understand how to work with people who experience a range of traumatic events —- from domestic violence, to combat, to sexual assault and child abuse.
We are lucky that Herman has now followed up with Truth and Repair: How Trauma Survivors Envision Justice. As Herman writes: “If traumatic disorders are afflictions of the powerless, then empowerment must be a central principle of recovery. If trauma shames and isolates, then recovery must take place in community.” This book helps us consider what steps are most helpful for each individual survivor of trauma and how best to move forward in their own healing process. Thank you Judith Herman.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT PSYCHOANALYSIS
Psychoanalysis has a bad reputation these days. It's treated as some sort of boogeyman: the cold, withholding analyst sitting silently behind the patient who is floundering on the couch. In fact, in terms of talk therapies, psychoanalysis offers a unique opportunity to delve deeply into what makes us tick, and to understand why we can end up doing things or being with people who aren't good for us. Analysis helps us bring buried feelings and thoughts to the surface. It also helps us see how we can erroneously project experiences from our childhood onto current relationships. One of the best books I know that outlines current analytic thinking is Owen Renick's Practical Psychoanalysis for Therapists and Patients. Through various case studies, Renick demonstrates how he actively listens to and participates in his patients' healing processes. The book is a joy to read and goes a long way in correcting any misconceptions about what psychoanalysis has to offer today.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
"There aren't any meetings with people like me."
"All that religious stuff turns me off."
"I hate walking into a room full of strangers."
"Are you kidding, I can just stop drinking on my own."
These are just a few of the protests I've heard when I suggest A.A. to people with drinking problems. The fact is though, that no matter what real shortcomings A.A. might have, it usually provides the best support for getting and staying sober. The meetings are important, as well as sharing at meetings, having a sponsor, and keeping a handy list of members who you can call, and --- particularly important --- after the meeting joining other members for informal coffee sessions. It's not easy to stop drinking: but it's a lot easier to do when you have the safety net of the A.A. community surrounding you.