I am using this space to share thoughts, from time to time, that come from my clinical work and reading.  I hope this is helpful for you.


Healing My Life from Incest to Joy is a very compelling book written by Donna Jenson.  She chronicles her growing up in a family in which she was violently abused.  Donna’s primary focus, however, is on her experience in healing and finding joy in life.  She writes of her journey in creating a healthy and long lasting love life, finding meaning through writing and performing, and building a family of choice.  I loved the book and think you will too. You can learn more about her work through

July, 2019

Posted on Monday, July 1, 2019 at 03:30PM by Registered CommenterEli Zal | Comments Off


Mention psychoanalysis, and most people of course think of Sigmund Freud. Lost in history is Freud's colleague Sandor Ferenczi, who dramatically expanded on what psychoanalysis could offer. He did this by exploring how the therapist's relationship with the patient could play a dynamic role in helping patients connect more deeply with their feelings, histories, and relational styles. Ferenczi was also at the forefront of understanding the impact of sexual trauma. Most radically, he experimented with alternating therapy sessions in which the therapist and patient took turns in the "patient" role. The Legacy of Sandor Ferenczi, by Lewis Aron and Adrienne Harris, brings his ideas alive and helps us expand our perceptions of what is possible in psychotherapy today.

June, 2019

Posted on Monday, June 3, 2019 at 04:36PM by Registered CommenterEli Zal | Comments Off


For many people who are in therapy, it can be good to know that therapists also make mistakes. Sounds obvious, but it isn't something that everyone considers. Irwin Hirsch has written a terrific book on this, Coasting in the Countertransference. He explores how sometimes therapists avoid anxiety ridden topics, rather than deal with the discomfort that can arise in pursuing particular issues. It's a helpful reminder that therapy requires a certain courage from patients, as well as their therapists.

May, 2019

Posted on Wednesday, May 1, 2019 at 03:25PM by Registered CommenterEli Zal | Comments Off


Couples therapy can often be helpful --- whether you're hitting a bump in the road, or sometimes even when things are going smoothly enough but you're looking for deeper connection with your spouse or partner.  What many couples overlook is financial intimacy.  Talking about money and financial issues can help each member achieve both stronger independence as well as foster a healthy form of dependency.  This New York Times article has a lot to say on this topic.
April, 2019


Posted on Monday, April 8, 2019 at 04:47PM by Registered CommenterEli Zal | Comments Off


Revealing the deepest parts of ourselves to others can feel like a great risk. Certainly this can be the case in coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Over the years I've worked with many people who've struggled to gain the courage to share this part of themselves with family members, friends or co-workers. And while coming out to others doesn't always go smoothly or as hoped, I have never worked with anyone who's regretted it. Luckily, these days, websites, libraries and bookstores are brimming with information about coming out, and the LGBT Center offers a wide range of social and support opportunities for people --- whether they have been out for years or are just coming out.

March, 2019

Posted on Friday, March 1, 2019 at 02:45PM by Registered CommenterEli Zal | Comments Off
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